In memory of my Bhai

It was a loving 'Bhai' by which my grandfather used to call me and i answered back with the same. My dearest bhai passed away on the second of last month and its been more than a month now. Life goes on and it is no exception for me either. But somewhere there is a void, for the first time i lost someone so near and dear to me. These are compulsory pains of life. But, the memories do not understand and they seem to come back again and again only to make me feel more void. So, i thought of writing a few lines here in my blog.

The fondest memories which i have of Bhai are those childhood days when i used to go out with my bhai almost everyday. And sometimes my didu (grandmother) used to accompany us. And then i had got the habit of walking, which i have lost a lot now. And i had a habit of buying loads of pens which was fulfilled most of the time by my bhai. Buying pens and especially the costly ones was like a hide and seek game with my parents because they never appreciated it and often scolded for wasting money. bhai kept telling that whenever you need anything, tell me i will give it to you. And i got more than i wanted most of the time after pleading much with my parents and then at last going and complaining to bhai. I still remember how badly i missed them when they were off to some place because my life got boring with the studies and scoldings (which were often stopped in the presence of my grandparents). bhai used to get free pass for First Class Railway ticket and he would be off to places with didu, i could not accompany because of many reasons. but mostly because of the school. However its been quite a few years that he stopped travelling much.

Then when i came to Kolkata from Durgapur, he got a cellphone for himself. Always told that we will talk whole day so call me but by then his hearing power had reduced a lot and whenever i used to call no one received or at times maa received. And whenever i came back to my city he used to complain that i never called. But, the sorrow that still haunts me is that during his last days i could not meet him, talk to him, i called to talk to him but he was not able to talk much by then.

When i was small, to everybody's surprise i had so many of the mantras by-heart . And, the reason behind it was my bhai and didu who used to say prayers before going off to sleep. And back then i used to sleep with my grandparents but then i got a room of my own which i hated sharing, not even with my bhai. I also used to sit beside him and watch as he did the pujas at home during Saraswati and Lakhshmi Puja. He used  Besides my parents, my grandparents had always been guardian and people who always showed me the right path and insisted me on following it. He was very strict about his principles most of the times and would differ in rarest occasions.

Whenever, i used to make something he got biased but never to hurt someone and i enjoyed that a lot.I remember how i once made tea with garam masala and it was so bad but he appreciated my efforts and had the whole cup of tea with a smile on his face. He was a foodie but never greedy, always used to have food with utter satisfaction and left a clean plate behind. He had once asked for a little noodles to taste and he liked it. From then on, most of the time when Maa prepared noodles, asked him. Most of the time it was a 'No' but if he was in a good mood asked for more after having.

And the best thing is, at that time when he got married he had a love marriage with my didu. I so adore them for that. And that too inter-caste which a quite big issue back then.

What I think is the happiest thing after the person has passed away is listening to his appreciations from people and stories about how he helped people and even changed lives of many. Bhai you were great and you are still great!! Bless me and keep an watch so that i do not deviate from my path.