I will keep repeating and echoing till the day I go back

Yes I will curse, I will roil, I will sit back and go down the lane of nostalgia. I will keep doing so because I cannot forget her, I cannot stop missing her. Nothing can replace her. Every first time has been with her. Every joy, every sorrow, every love, every fight has been with her by my side. From books to food, smoke to peg everything has her name written on it when it was the first time. And now when i am far away from her, how can I just ‘adjust’ without getting vexed? And trust me food although being a problem, that we do not get good fishes or sweets or posto or shukto it is not always the biggest issue because there are more to it.

How will i get away from the place that imbibed in me the love for art, literature, music, introduced me to poetry, to ‘good’ cinema and plays, to dance, to everything good or bad that I have today. Everyone else may find these to be not so important in life but what if all these have shaped you up in life? How do you get away and adjust? Hopefully I will myself have the answers soon, once I successfully accommodate and adjust.

As long as people deliberately do not speak in Hindi when they can both understand and speak Hindi, I will be vexed. And I will be so because I myself am not pro in Hindi and just like me most of the Bengali are not but still they try their level best to make themselves understood in broken or grammatically incorrect Hindi whenever and wherever needed. I belong to that place and that is why it is hard to adjust.



I will complain and get irritated till the time there will be places where people stare at girls smoking cigarettes in a way that it seems she forgot to wear anything while stepping out. I will keep echoing about unpleasantness as long as there are people who say ‘O you are Bengali? So you are from Kolkata!’ Kolkata is not a state, people with weak Geography everywhere.

 I will complain and curse till I keep meeting people who gets aroused and angry if asked anything the second time. I will do so because I have seen and remember elderly wonderful strangers who ask you with concern that if you have taken an umbrella because its so sunny or will you be able to go alone since you are new when you just went up to them to ask an address, that is the place I belong to.


Bengal has it all but maybe somewhere something has gone wrong or missing and we have landed up in places where we are adjusting in our own ways. Sometimes cursing and sometimes smiling. Hope everyone can go back to where they belong and where they want to settle, hope that day comes for me soon when I can say ‘I am back and am not complaining or adjusting’. Or is it that the complaining stays on?  


"তুই তো আমার হারানো দেশ 
তুই তো আমার মাতৃভাষা 
বাড়িটা তুই বেঁচে থাকিস 
আমায় একটু বাঁচিয়ে রাখিস"

Nirbashito 
(2015 National Award Winning Bangla Film)


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